Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Randomize