If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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