I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
