I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize