She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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