why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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