Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize