Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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