I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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