.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
