I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
