everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
