Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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