Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
