OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
