I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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