dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
