could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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