and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
