Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
