I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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