can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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