i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
