i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
