she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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