8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
