Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
