I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
