Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
