I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
