I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
