i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
