piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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