i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize