Got a toothbrush?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
