My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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