pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
