Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
