Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
