So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
