I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
