guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
