I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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