I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
