we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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