Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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