Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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