I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
