handjob tips. give me some.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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