Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
