Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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