she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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