last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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