considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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