They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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