We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
