he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
