That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
