Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
