You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
