ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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