ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
