I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize