This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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