Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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