The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize