Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
