Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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