All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
