Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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