i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
