my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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