Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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