Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
